Am I crazy??? Of course NOT!!

So, I decided I am going to make the most of being down like I am. The Shingles has been no fun and because my skin hurts and my head hurts, I have slept about 5 hours in the last 3 days. It is 4am and I am awake and wishing so badly that I could sleeeeep!! The positive however is that since I have been awake so much, I can let the dogs out in the middle of the night so for the last two nights, Mike has actually had good full nights of well needed sleep for him.

I have been focusing my time on Primary this week. I have finished my Singing Time outline for the year, finished 5 out of 9 posters to teach songs for the Primary Program and cut and lamenated and then cut again all of the pictures I have collected from the Ensign and calendars, etc. I am feeling so productive and prepared for teaching the songs now that I am really excited to get to go back to church and do my calling. Unfortunately it is going to be a few weeks before I can go back but - I will be ready.

Maddy has been an amazing trooper. Even though I am so incredibly boring and a bit crabby, she has been so helpful and mostly cheery!! Mike is amazing as always although since i have been down so much, it seems like I have so much time to think, I feel like I am obsessing over his health and him taking care of himself and keeping up all he has done to get healthy again. Is is just me? Am I totally psycho? I just don't ever want to loose him to health issues. I love him so much and, ok, I am obsessing. Get me out of here!!!! Oh how I would love to go to dinner or somewhere normal and out of this house. Sooon, I know, soon.

But, my spirits are up from where they were a few days ago and tomorrow is the weekend so the family will be home and we can just chill together.

Are You Kidding Me??? Nothing But Shock Right Now!

So, this week, a few CranioSacral clients on the schedule, heading back to church next Sunday and excited to do Primary again - woke up Monday morning with the left side of my face swollen and extremely painful. Bumps on my face and had and feeling like I had been hit by a truck! I still went and worked on two clients - gotta get the work done, right?? Still felt progressively worse so called the Dr on the way home. It took him all of like 3 minutes - you know what you have right??? I'm thinking maybe - ear infection???

Uh, you maybe wish - SHINGLES????!!!!!

I cannot believe this. I am frustrated, sad, numb and yet trying very hard to put my Faith in the Lord that there is a reason all of this is happening in our lives. I am SO TIRED of feeling like a burden to my husband and not being able to do the things that NEED to be done. I am getting so tired of being in one form of pain or another from some lame sickness. I know the Lord blesses our lives and I know we are not alone through this. Thank you to all of our wonderful friends who call and check on us, stop by and spend time with us and in many small and some big ways, show your love and support to us all the time. We are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Thanks for letting me vent. I gotta have the down moments so that I can pick up and deal - yet again. Could be a long 4 more weeks????? Let's hope not!

Finally Drain Free!!!

So we went to the Dr. today and at first he was still not going to take the drain out. There was still more fluid draining that he wanted but was concerned that after 3 1/2 weeks I might get an infection in the mesh. Initially he told me one more week no matter what. Then as Mike and I were getting ready to leave he came back in and said, "forget it, I am taking the damn thing out!" I was so excited!!!!!

Mike couldn't watch, he gets quite queazy over this stuff, but took the drain out and patched me up!! I still have an open incision but that will be healed up in a few days and in the meantime I will continue to change dressings and take it easy. But then...ALL DONE!!!!

One More Week

Today we went to the Dr. office thinking that Iwould be getting the drain out of my stomach. Nope! One more week. I left today so upset. I totally fell apart when I got home. This was supposed to be a two week ordeal and 5 weeks later I am still not done. I am so scared that I am not going to have any clients left when I am ready to go back to work. Mike has been always amazing and so has Maddy. So, what did I do? After crying for a long time, I cranked up the ipod and started cleaning house. Rearranged, dusted and for at least the front part of the house, got it done. It felt better to sing at the top of my lungs and at least get something done. I am in a lot of pain tonight but I am convinced it was worth it! So that is the update - more of the same. Thanks for letting me vent a little. It helps to get it out as a very dear friend told me this evening.

My New Project!

I am finally feeling like I am on the road to recovery from this surgery. I have had a LOT of time to think and ponder and 2010 is going to be my year for growth. I feel like there are projects that I need to get done, I am setting a goal to go out and make new friends and take a LOT more pictures. I want to write in my journal more, like everyone else, I want to exercise more - I want to make more memories and serve more. These are my new year resolutions and I am starting right now. While down, I have started working on my cookbook - a collection of my favorite recipes.

This year we had a wonderful Christmas. Not a lot of gifts and I have been once again recovering from another surgery but our hearts were filled with so much joy and we focused more on the true spirit of Christmas, more on our Savior, more on family and spending quality time with one another. We are so happy. Mike took the week off from work to help me with recovery and he has been so amazing. He has gone above and beyond to make sure I had everything I needed. He has sat by my side and watch the chick flicks just so that I knew he was there and didn't get bummed out for being down at Christmas. My life is so blessed and I could not ever ask for more. Christmas Day was spent with Mike's family and it was great.

Dashing Through December

This has been an eventful month for us. Maddy had her Christmas piano recital. She played "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" and did such a good job. Then the following week was her musical theater recital. I was so impressed with the show. We were sitting with Mike's mom and dad watching the performance and Mike's Dad leaned over to Mike's mom and asked, "why isn't Madyson smiling and singing? She should be more like the girl beside her who is smiling and doing such a great job." Mike's mom said,"who are you talking about?" He pointed to the girl next to Madyson. His mom said, "THAT IS MADYSON!!" We were dying, Maddy got contact lenses this month and he had not seen her with them in so he didn't recognize her. So funny!! Maddy did such a great job and looked so beautiful!