Monday, February 22, 2010

Week 2 - The Journey

So, I think I might do weekly diet entries instead of daily - "there's just nothing to say" that often. (Our new favorite quote from the movie - "Couple's Retreat" - hallarious!) Anyway, back to less entertaining topics - (haha)

This last week was a start - slow start - but it was a start. I gutted out the pantry and even threw away the chocolate peanut butter ice cream. It kind of freaked me out when I thought to myself as I was throwing that way - I need this ice cream - kind of a small panic feeling - THAT IS NOT HEALTHY!! News flash!
So this week, the next step! I am going to be walking everyday this week, even if it's just for a half hour. I see a new Dr. on Wednesday night to begin the medical weight loss program and also will be getting a little counseling to help me begin new habits and make sure that I am not eating for the wrong reasons. Those of you who have known me for a long time might know that this has been somewhat of a struggle for me off and on my whole life so I want to learn through this process this time. I want to make sure that my relationship with food is a healthy one. I have been thinking back over my childhood and realized that when big things happened in my life - I really did deal with it one way or another with food. I have always been active and at times quite healthy but I think in our society - so much of what we do incorporates food. I need to remember that I am eating to live!!

The exercise issue is a big one for me lately and thinking about it makes me kind of emotional. I actually LOVE to be active. I enjoy exercising once I am doing it. I have been living in pain for so long however that it is hard to move through that pain and get moving if you know what I mean. It is something that is so important for us to do and I need to make myself do this. I am looking forward to starting to swim with my friend Bethany - she is so patient and also honest so she will not let me wimp out. That will be good for me.

Thanks for taking the time to read - I hope this journey is helping more than just me. I know that the love and support you all are giving me helps me everytime I feel like it's not possible. Baby steps and consistancy - that is what I need right now. Looking forward to Wednesday!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A New Journey...Day 1

So, I went to the Dr this morning for my follow up from my stomach surgery. Things are still healing but he said it's going well - finally. The incision collapsed from all of the fluid that was trapped in there and wants to open me back up in months to fix it. Not something I am happy about AT ALL - but it is really ugly right now so might be a good decision. The Dr. then asked me - do you want to get gastric surgery - you need it - I strongly recommend it. Not something you want someone to ask you at all and really hurt my pride. But then, as I look into the mirror - I honestly am heavier than I have ever been in my entire life and not healthy at all. I want to feel good about myself again so...I am going to embark on a new journey and I am going to record it on our blog so that I can look back as I go and learn from this experience. I am hoping that as I do this, I can learn about why I am in the shape I am so that I can prevent myself from getting back to this place again.

I also want to record this on our blog because I am hoping that as I go down this journey that any of our friends who want to join me, can have some place to go for support. I have the most amazing friends in my life and I always know that if/when I am having a down day or things get hard, that I can look to my friends for support and encouragement and I have a feeling that there will be more than a few of those days. Maybe I can offer support to someone else and hopefully I can draw on the support from my wonderful friends (and husband who is also very supportive).

So today is day 1!! I am going to gut out the house of the goodies and comfort food that has accumulated over the last few months while I have been dealing with health issues. I can't use that as a crutch to be unhealthy anymore. I have made the call for an appointment with my Doctor who also has a medical weight loss clinic and will check back in regularly to record my progress. Anyone want to join me? Let's make this year a year of becomming healthy physically, mentally and always spiritually. Encouragement only!!! Here I go!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Walking The Boys...

So, today I took a step back towards the real world. I took the dogs for a walk!!! It was a beautiful day and it felt so good to get out in the sun (cool sun I must add) and breath in fresh air. It about kicked my butt and I am pretty exhausted tonight BUT I felt like it was a step in the right direction and I am going to go every day from now on!!

Mike has started walking again too. I am so proud of him. He is a really good example to me of someone who once he decides to do something, he comits and just does it!!! Maddy is getting ready for her 12th birthday in a few weeks. She wants to have a roller skating party - ahhh my kind of party!! Gonna be a BLAST!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Club Volleyball...the beginning of a Dream!!!

So Maddy has decided that she has a dream! She wants to play volleyball for BYU in college! Wow! Go big or go home, right??? Well, she has started playing club this season and I have to say although it will just sound like we are partial but she has some raw natural talent. She has so much to learn but that is the best part - the journey!

So Maddy started the day off as the first server, made the first game point and yes, all of you who know me, I stayed true to Debbie form - got a little teary - was so proud of her and knew she was nervous and scared and she just stepped up and played the game. We were so proud of her.

Maddy is playing for the Mesa, Jackrabbits. She has some friends on the team from our old ward so it has been fun for her to re-connect with them. The first tourni. was in Prescott, AZ and Maddy and I went up with Milena - such a dear friend - at 4am and Mike joined us a couple of hours later. Cat and most of their family came as well so Maddy had a nice little cheering section.

Am I crazy??? Of course NOT!!

So, I decided I am going to make the most of being down like I am. The Shingles has been no fun and because my skin hurts and my head hurts, I have slept about 5 hours in the last 3 days. It is 4am and I am awake and wishing so badly that I could sleeeeep!! The positive however is that since I have been awake so much, I can let the dogs out in the middle of the night so for the last two nights, Mike has actually had good full nights of well needed sleep for him.

I have been focusing my time on Primary this week. I have finished my Singing Time outline for the year, finished 5 out of 9 posters to teach songs for the Primary Program and cut and lamenated and then cut again all of the pictures I have collected from the Ensign and calendars, etc. I am feeling so productive and prepared for teaching the songs now that I am really excited to get to go back to church and do my calling. Unfortunately it is going to be a few weeks before I can go back but - I will be ready.

Maddy has been an amazing trooper. Even though I am so incredibly boring and a bit crabby, she has been so helpful and mostly cheery!! Mike is amazing as always although since i have been down so much, it seems like I have so much time to think, I feel like I am obsessing over his health and him taking care of himself and keeping up all he has done to get healthy again. Is is just me? Am I totally psycho? I just don't ever want to loose him to health issues. I love him so much and, ok, I am obsessing. Get me out of here!!!! Oh how I would love to go to dinner or somewhere normal and out of this house. Sooon, I know, soon.

But, my spirits are up from where they were a few days ago and tomorrow is the weekend so the family will be home and we can just chill together.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Are You Kidding Me??? Nothing But Shock Right Now!

So, this week, a few CranioSacral clients on the schedule, heading back to church next Sunday and excited to do Primary again - woke up Monday morning with the left side of my face swollen and extremely painful. Bumps on my face and had and feeling like I had been hit by a truck! I still went and worked on two clients - gotta get the work done, right?? Still felt progressively worse so called the Dr on the way home. It took him all of like 3 minutes - you know what you have right??? I'm thinking maybe - ear infection???

Uh, you maybe wish - SHINGLES????!!!!!

I cannot believe this. I am frustrated, sad, numb and yet trying very hard to put my Faith in the Lord that there is a reason all of this is happening in our lives. I am SO TIRED of feeling like a burden to my husband and not being able to do the things that NEED to be done. I am getting so tired of being in one form of pain or another from some lame sickness. I know the Lord blesses our lives and I know we are not alone through this. Thank you to all of our wonderful friends who call and check on us, stop by and spend time with us and in many small and some big ways, show your love and support to us all the time. We are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Thanks for letting me vent. I gotta have the down moments so that I can pick up and deal - yet again. Could be a long 4 more weeks????? Let's hope not!